Now let me just clarify that I am talking about a western style toilet here - not the traditional Japanese versions that require you to be a Cirque De Soleil performer in order to use them - more on those babies later.
As you can see from the accompanying pictures, the Japanese have modified or 'pimped out' the Western style toilet. Their version has a number of interesting functions available at the push of a button – yes the mind boggles but don't knock it till you've tried it I say. Your control panel can normally be found to the side of the toilet or fixed to the wall – I've snapped a few examples for your viewing pleasure. So let's take a look at what all of these buttons mean. There is the good old heated toilet seat on/off option and the handy flushing noise button (all noise no flush) for disguising toilet noises – only problem is you can distinguish the played noise from the real flushing noise, so in public toilets you hear the audio version and think "ha, I know what you are doing", although sometimes I think this function is automatic.
But it's once you've done your business that the real fun starts. Depending on what the purpose of your visit has been, you can select a front or back cleaning option, some toilets have the front button in pink as obviously this is 'intended' for the ladies - although I'm damn sure the boys play around with this one too.
So you push the button and out from under the rear of the toilet seat comes this little squirter that promptly fires water at your butt or fu fu - again depending on the option you choose. Ok, so the first time is petrifying - you sort of sit there tense, waiting for the water to hit - and once it does you definitely know you are clean. Husband and I both admit to being converts, our only caution would be that you should check the water temperature and pressure - all adjustable - as those parts do tend to be a wee bit sensitive and it can be rather painful to have burnt bits and pieces. Some toilets even have a button to put the seat up and down.
So just when I thought I was quite liking Japanese toilets I then came into forced contact with the real deal - no heated seat, in fact no seat at all. Usually there is at least one western style toilet even at train stations and the like (and usually they are clean - shock horror) - so I just tend to go for that option. However, recently I had no choice but to attempt the inevitable, and after a few wines too, which I'm sure assisted me in no capacity at all.
So I think you are supposed to squat over these things, which resemble oblong holes in the ground, and I think you are supposed to face the back wall - honestly I'm too embarrassed to ask. Now it's interesting to note here that every Japanese person I have met seems to be freakishly flexible - me, I'm freakishly stiff to the point where I can't touch my toes. So here begins my dilemma. I think you are supposed to be able to just kinda hang there, feet flat on the ground and do your business - not me, I was all over the show and petrified of falling in.
So after some shuffling about and removing and hanging up of clothing - preventative measure - I'm perched precariously over this thing desperately looking for a clean handle or something to hang onto. By this time I'm bursting, so must get the show on the road. I really don't want to be too graphic, but let's just say that if I was supposed to be able to pee directionally I would have been born with a penis.
Sayonara!
Lenska
Great job Aunty Lenska.
Yes we know all about the 'amazing asian toilets' = korea is no exception.
And as for the squats......... I dropped my phone in one after a few brewskies...then picked it up.....still works mint!!!
Yes we know all about the 'amazing asian toilets' = korea is no exception.
And as for the squats......... I dropped my phone in one after a few brewskies...then picked it up.....still works mint!!!