I always dreamed of marrying a rugby player - preferably an All Black - and moving overseas where I would be able to play house and develop my handbag and shoe addictions. Excuse me while I vomit.
Everything here is orderly. How else could a country, with 128 million people sharing a land area similar to that of New Zealand, function so successfully?...
In our new life with our roles reversed, we've embarked on a joint fitness kick. So to the gym I will take you today - it is a bit of a cultural experience in itself....
She might be married to an ex-rugby player, she might have a formidable shoe collection and a serious predilection for handbags but Lenska sure as hell never thought she'd end up playing house in Japan......