I always dreamed of marrying a rugby player - preferably an All Black - and moving overseas where I would be able to play house and develop my handbag and shoe addictions. Excuse me while I vomit.
If you scratch the surface and look past the shimmering aquamarine waters of the Croatian coastline, venture inland and into Bosnia, the scars seem all too recent....
As far as I'm concerned, when you are 76 years old you are allowed to be a little un-PC. That said so far on our journey there have definitely been a few moments when I've been torn between laughing out loud and slapping my father silly....
I'd intended to report on the fantastic sights of San Francisco, but unfortunately the notorious fog put a stop to that. Dad and I wanted to visit Alcatraz and we wanted to be able to actually make out the colour and form of the Golden Gate Bridge - it is red, right?...
The first wave of excitement hit me when I was greeted by the Air New Zealand flight crew - Kiwi accents, how exciting - nearly home! My Airpoints upgrade had also come through so things were looking pretty good....
It's true that since we moved to Japan I have not actually spent much consecutive time in the country. With the jaunt to Canada and the Bali experience to boot, it's fair to say my dog hates me and Husband is ready to pull the pin on my travel budget....