There's a silent character in the hit British television show 'The Office'. It doesn't say funny things or have interesting relationships but without it Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's comedy would not be the classic that it is.

That 'other' character is the town of Slough, the place depicted as grey and dreary and completely soulless in the subtle way the creators intended. 'The Office' didn't do much to boost Slough's reputation, which the place has been fighting for years.

In 1937 the poet John Betjeman wrote: 'Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough/It isn't fit for humans now'. And the comedian Jimmy Carr recently said: 'I grew up in Slough in the 1970s. If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s, go there now'.

As an avid fan of 'The Office' I had always thought it would be fun to visit the town where Tim, Gareth and Dawn live out their depressing existences stuck in a beige office surrounded by ugly concrete buildings. But the joke is on me because now I live in London and every day I get up, take the train to Slough and spend eight hours in a beige office surrounded by ugly concrete buildings. I'm thankful that I don't work for a mind-numbing paper company (but an exciting online shopping giant) and that I don't file invoices all day (I write about DVDs) and, most of all, that I don't have a manager who is anything like David Brent.

'The Office' creators were bang on when they chose Slough as their grim location. The town centre has no green spaces or nice cafes or pleasant places to sit during lunch. They have attempts at humour, such as the sports bar called 'Wernham Hoggs,' the name of the paper company in 'The Office'. And then there's the 'Classy Touch Cafe' which is so far from classy I always have a little giggle when I stroll past it.

It's not uncommon to see parents having a go at their children. If they're not yelling at them or smacking them, they're shoving fried chicken into their poor little gobs. There are people who actually look like fictional chav Vicky Pollard from 'Little Britain'. It's almost impossible to walk down the street without hearing someone mouthing off, or without being chased by a charity worker - and there are always about 10 charity workers who are well prepared to chase you.

The council has injected millions of pounds into cleaning up the town with a project called 'Heart of Slough'. They are tearing up the high street and laying new concrete but it takes about a day before the new stuff looks all dirty and covered in chewing gum, just like the old stuff. Sometimes, when the jackhammers are banging away and the Vicky Pollards are screaming and someone's swearing at their toddler, I can't help but look at all the construction workers and think, you can't polish a turd guys.

Which reminds me of the experience which made me realise once and for all that Slough is a different kind of rough than I'd ever experienced in New Zealand. I'd heard rumours of local parents letting their kids treat the high street like a toilet but I thought surely they're not true. Slough lacks many things but it does have its fair share of public loos.

One day last week I was walking back from the Marks & Spencer supermarket, happily swinging my lunch in its bag, when I saw a man wiping a child's arse with a wad of tissues. I made the mistake of taking a closer look. The kid was about four and he was crying and next to him was... number twos! I was so mortified and I rushed back to the office, suddenly put off eating my salad. When I relayed the story to my workmates they were hardly even surprised.

'Welcome to Slough,' was all they said.

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