For the Western tourist, Malaysia is an easy way to get acclimatised to Asia. Almost everyone you meet speaks some English and most signage is in English as well as Malay.

But some wonky translation here and there can make for hilarious results. During my trip I had a great time 'collecting' examples of these.

Outside a historic Babanyonya mansion in Penang, we were warned by a hastily-written sign not to enter. "Shooting in progress," it said.

We were thinking it rather considerate (if dim-witted) for murderers to advertise the scene of their hit so very blatantly, until we happened to catch a glimpse of the film crew setting up behind the gates. Mystery solved.

In the Cameron Highlands, a sign for "self-plucking" strawberries conjured up some interesting visuals in my mind - that was either some amazing technology or GM crops gone horribly awry.

At Batu Ferringhi Beach, we passed a small emporium entitled," Luvly Jubbly" – but just in case that wasn't fancy enough for your tastes, it also bore the Harrods logo. I couldn't quite see Dodi Al-Fayed setting up shop there, but I gave them points for style.

It wasn't just words that were lost in translation, though. Some concepts were simply lost entirely on me.

The drooping, scruffy tangle of mangy fake ponytail advertised as "Lady Tokio Fashionable Nylon hair"... well, it just wasn't. Fashionable, that is.

And I'm really, really hoping the sight that greeted me in the window of a high-end men's clothing shop in the Pavilion shopping mall in KL never, ever makes it onto Queen St.

Yes, you are seeing that picture correctly. Hammer pants. Red, velvet hammer pants. With sequins. And a matching scarf.

Fans of the classic movie (and book) The Shining will appreciate this one: a shop in BB Plaza named 'Redrum Murder'. I expected to see Jack Nicholson advancing on me with a carving knife, or at least "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" written all over the walls, but was sorely disappointed (if a little confused) to see that it had absolutely no connection with the origin of the phrase. It sold dresses. Just dresses.

But for every confusing, ambiguous sign there were others that spelled out their meaning only too clearly, like the "Fancy store" I found in Georgetown.

It was full to bursting point with over-the-top gaudy gold jewellery and ribbons. Fancy, indeed.

I agonised over whether to buy the t-shirt I saw in a mall that proclaimed in huge letters "I'm not a whore, I'm just popular" before deciding I just wasn't brave enough to wear something so very... honest.

But my greatest discovery came in a little green can: Kickapoo Joy Juice. I saw it in a supermarket and couldn't resist its unusual name and the picture it bore of two fat men dancing around a washtub.

As an added bonus, it actually tasted good too - like a cross between Mountain Dew and lemonade.

Here's me being extra joyful after sampling my "joy juice".  Sadly, the glee was not to last as our time in Malaysia was drawing to an end.

What crazy signs have you seen on your travels?

Next up: I find out where airline food comes from and snatch a last chance to live the high life at the airport.

Amy Williams travelled to Malaysia courtesy of Malaysia Airlines and Tourism Malaysia.

Find out more about Malaysia.

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